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waiwai5133
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Name: Amy
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: Brooklyn
Birthday: 4/22/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: most of the things you can think of... not in the dirty way...
Expertise: Networking, Programming, designing, communicating, entertaining, and you name it.
Occupation: Computer related
Industry: Computers (Software)
Message: message me
AIM:  waiwai5133
MSN: waiwai5133
Yahoo:  waiwai5133
Member Since:
11/19/2003
 Lifetime
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| Even vacation off from school and still alot of planning to do... Planning something with Honey... And maybe with friends... Poconos? or Romantic Get away!!!
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| When I looked back on my life, I am somewhat proud of what I had accomplished and will be accomplishing. There are people who look at my family and think, wow! Rich, spoil little Prince and Princess. Wow, she is so strong and so bitchy.
Does anyone really think about how we become the way we are today? As we were born in Hong Kong, we thought, wow... our dad's family is rich... What we didn't know is that, we were being looked down everywhere... for no apparent reasons. I started school when I just turn 2 years old and freshly learning how to walk... Being the youngest and smallest in size from school was never easy. While I was born with only 5 lbs so much under weight where I have to stay in the oxygen box and always going to hospital due to my weak health. Whenever, I'm in the hospital, my Dad, Mom, and my baby brother will be there. They worry so much that I feel sad. When I'm in school, I was so behind where I have to stay up until 3am to finish my homework. My mom always got called-in to school because of my born-with Curly hair and about how I cried staring at the CHICKEN LEG during lunch.
When I turn 10, breaking news on how we became broke and came to America with ONLY 200$ with us. Dreams on how cruel life is and so much hate in me where I know I need to help. Hating the people who broke my family's wealth for years, yet gave me energy to work harder in school and life. I forced myself to be strong because we were yet again being look down from family when we were in US. I fight and have nightmares every night. I cried at showers, in bed, and act like a bitch to hide my weakness. Then as I entered to be 7th grade, my baby brother got beaten up. Yet again, I stood up and beef up the kid with 20 people outside of school. Then ever since then, I got into fights every year in Junior High School to build up my reputation to protect my brother.
High School comes along, I started to know everyone. Doesn't matter, they are good or bad. As long as I'm popular and know lots of people. Giving out words, where no one dare to touch my brother one bit or else. I was doing translations in between my parents and others. I even rough up kids trying to use racist slur on us. I was a bitch. I worked so hard where I worked three jobs and go to school full time since High School just so my parents didn't have to worry about me, and can focus on my brother. We were poor before, where we eat can food and live in the basement. Worrying about the next meal, with no cars, moving from house to house by hands and feet with no money to even rent truck.
I'm protective, I'm started out early to pick my career path. I hate the fact that there are jobs only for Men and not Women. I was turning into the way I am because I have a wall between others and mine. I know I was weak and can break easily if I let it go.
When my grandma died, I lost myself a little bit. Within six months, my mom passed on to a better life. I didn't talk to anyone for a long time, because I need to be strong for my dad and brother. I need to take care of everything I can and have no time to be sad. I was in denial, that's why I didn't want to see any of my friends or even talking to them. I know I will break my wall and being really weak. Everyone saw me as the girl who doesn't cry much. I was holding it in, until I cried every night for a long long time. Until one of my friends told me that why are you holding it in? You know it will eat you up eventually, and you can't cope until that point.
She was right, I almost committed suicide. I pulled it back up by losing myself for a whole year. Living in the dark, in the dream of no feelings. It is just work, take care of family, school, and work again. Did it all come out yet? No, I'm silently waiting for the explosion to come out. I don't know when, where, or how. I'm scared of myself too.
Thank God for my father and brother, I'm feeling the love of a family. But yet still terribly miss my mom. I am here to thank everyone to be so harsh on our family where we can learn the true value of family love and support. We also learn how to protect ourselves and be strong and independent.
Love,
Amy L. | | |
| Faces People that I meet and pass
In the city’s broken roar,
Faces that I lose so soon
And have never found before,
Do you know how much you tell
In the meeting of our eyes,
How ashamed I am, and sad
To have pierced your poor disguise?
Secrets rushing without sound
Crying from your hiding places —
Let me go, I cannot bear
The sorrow of the passing faces.
— People in the restless street,
Can it be, oh can it be
In the meeting of our eyes
That you know as much of me?
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